Baby Communication

Communication

How are our babies talking to us?

Our babies communicate with us from the moment they are born. They cannot talk, but through movement, facial expressions, and sounds, they are telling us everything we need to know.

In those first eight weeks, most parents are watching the countdown on the calendar to their baby getting “easier,” more communicative, and settled. We search for that first smile or the cooing sounds that show our little one's pleasure in response to us. On the flip side, parents may find themselves feeling the guilt of wishing this time away, getting swept up in the “newborn bubble” with a whole new mix of emotions, hormones, and tiredness like no other.

With all of this going on, we may be missing those small cues that our babies are actually showing us. There may be the odd little smile. This might get passed off as wind, but I would take it! From my own experience, I ignored those comments and went with the fact that my baby was beaming up at me for a few tiny milliseconds. That was enough to keep me going for the next few hours! There was one time when my baby was maybe around three or four weeks old; at night in bed, my husband told a joke and the baby made a babbling noise that sounded just like a laugh. Nine months on, he is still dining out on that! Take the small wins that make you sleep with a smile on your face.

From birth, babies can show us things like how they prefer to be settled. Do they prefer swaddling, or maybe just a blanket? Naturally, they take great comfort from movement, rocking, swaying, motion they have been used to while growing in the womb. Take the rooting reflex—this reflex is involuntary for babies and key to their survival, built into their nervous system to help them find their food source. It is an early feeding cue, letting you know they may be starting to get hungry.

Fist-clenching is another one to look out for. A tight, clenched fist could mean hunger, stress, or tension. Then, as they get full and more content, the fist may start to relax and naturally open up.

Even though babies aren’t born with great eyesight, their eyes and gaze tell us a lot. If they are turning away from you or closing their eyes when you are talking to them, they are signalling over-stimulation. It is their way of hitting the pause button to process what they are taking in. On the other hand, arching their back or stiffening their body during or after feeding may suggest discomfort, like gas or reflux.

How do we miss these cues and signals?

Going back now to how we miss this communication. As I mentioned before, there is so much to get swept up in. Basically, from the moment you get that positive pregnancy test, cue the noise. From then on, things seem to level up with all the appointments, excitement, apprehension, and family and work life continuing. The intensity level goes up, and then the baby arrives and even more noise joins in. Then you’ve got to deal with new parent stressors and pressure, whether that’s put on you externally or just in your own head.

So, we really need to try and break it down, step by step. Breathe. Easier said than done, I know. But every day-to-day task we complete with our baby is a chance to communicate, see and learn these cues, and build that bond. It goes so much further than play. Changing a nappy, bathing, or feeding—these are all opportunities to slow down, hit pause, and connect with our little ones

Consider how they respond to your touch and voice. When talking about communication and child development, it is often drilled into us to talk to our babies and tell them everything we are doing. Be your own commentator on the day! However, it is equally as important that we stop and give them a chance to respond. I once saw on Instagram (always take it with a pinch of salt!) that you should give your baby a 10-second window to respond. I have tried to implement this with my baby, and there is definitely some truth to it. Again: time, space, and breath. There is a whole lot of stimulus for them to take in, and those cognitive pathways are connecting second by second to make those reactions and expressions.

What can we do?

There is so much we can do, and a small change adds up to have a massive impact on supporting our child and developing our bond with them. Take into account that a baby is their own individual, with their own mind, preferences, and strengths, and they should be treated as such.

Give your baby that chance every day to check in and tell you how they are feeling. Embrace those moments of absolute chaos; through connection with yourself and your baby, they will start to become more manageable, piece by piece. Parenthood is meant to be a whirlwind—that is what makes it so special. Those are the little nuggets of magic.

So maybe during the next nappy change, take a little look. What can you see? Slow down and give yourself and your little one that extra five minutes. Honestly, the world can wait.

Remember, you are the best parent your baby can have. You are enough, and you are absolutely rocking parenthood.

Lucy x